5! $5! $5 hole in my stomach!

Yes, the economy is crashing further and further, but we still need to get a full meal, 4 food groups, for not a lot of money. And thanks to the sandwich battles, you can get stuffed for only $5. So here it is, Round 1 of Subway vs Quiznos! Yes, round 1! These 2 massive franchises have such huge and complimentary menus, this is gonna take some work to compare over time.  Now, yes, like many of you, I too wish Schlotzsky's existed in more places, but you take what you can...

So, for round 1, I had to start with my favorite subway sub, MEATBALLS! and quiznos also has a meatball sub, so we have a challenge. For those of you who have been to subway many times, you probably know the meatball marinara is one of the tastiest items on the menu. And if you have any friends who have ever worked at subway, they have warned you never to eat the meatballs because of all the horrible things they put into them(read hooves, eyeballs, intestines and who knows what else), but being a culinarian, I love the whole beast!

So lets talk subway vs quiznos meatball ordering experience. First, subway offers 5 choices of freshly baked breads(white, wheat, italian, italian herb and cheese, sourdough, others?). I will point out now that quiznos only offers 2 choices, white or wheat. So at subway they slather meatballs and extra sauce onto my italian herb and cheese bread and give me my choice of cheese, provolone. cheddar and swiss are also options, quiznos gave me no options :-(, just put it together and put in the warming machine. after freshly toasting my sub and subway, fixin bar here I come! now, subway offers you everything under the sun to finish your sub. lettuce, tomato, onion, spinach, dressings, pickles, jalapenos, banana peppers, and so much else, its almost dizzying. Quiznos on the other hand does it all for you, but leaves you a small fixin bar, jalapenos, pickles, banana peppers and other peppers. Subway really makes it your way with so many more options. But at quiznos, you can take all you want of the limited fixins. So preliminarily, I would say the subway experience in ordering is superior, just because you have so many more options to make your sub so much more! but looks can be deceiving, can't they, hahahahahaha!(think evil cackle)

On to the tasting! On both subs I went with jalapenos, peppers and pickles only. Since I didn't say so before, I went wheat on my quiznos sub. 

So, lets compare the breads. though subway gave me more options, the toasting process didn't actually help the bread at all, and actually made it kinda hard in not a good way on one side. The quiznos bread, though only boring old wheat, tasted much fresher, better texture, and better toasting. 

The fixings on both subs were the same. I am gonna guess they both get their sliced pickles, jalapenos and peppers from Sysco(the Costco of the restaurant industry, all the little things in hugemungous(and yes, this is now a real word, spell check didn't even flinch) bulk). 

So whats left, the meatballs marinara. Ok, now subway hit me up with extra sauce to make it more moist and tasty. And I have been lovin subway meatball subs for many years.  And this was my first meatball sub at quiznos. And WOW! quiznos really was just that much better. i mean, their meatballs tasted like real italian meatballs, just like mamma bernstein would make. after tasting them, honestly, I could barely even taste any real flavor coming from the subway meatballs. It like if you have ever gone to a real wine tasting. You start with the lesser wines, and as you drink the better wines, you go back to compare to the lesser wines, and even those lesser wines that had tasted good to you before, now taste completely bland! why, because your taste buds have experienced something better, more flavorful, more depth, and those taste buds, and they are your buds because good friends don't lead you astray, have shown you the light. subway meatball marinara, you are, the weakest link. GOODBYE!

I'm A Lumberjack and I'm OK!

I eat pancakes all damn day! Or at least I did today. FREE Denny's Grand Slam. Which led to me realize, this is leading to this weeks blog. So, who else knows pancakes... hmmm... OH YA! IHOP! Yes, remember those days as a kid when you and the folks took a lazy saturday trip to the International House of Pancakes. Or maybe it was those late college and post college knights, when you get out of the bar at 2am(damn early closing) and remember(like all other nights) that IHOP is still open! YES! Pancakes, eggs, french toast, steak, biscuits and gravy. Everything your body needs to help aid you in progressing its purge agenda(I have never vomited after IHOP, can't say the same for many people in the Philly suburbs). So here I am, one grand slam down, or as the rest of America calls it, a Lumberjack breakfast, hence the title. Pancakes, eggs, sausage, bacon, hashbrowns. Now todays free breakfast at Dennys did not include hashbrowns, but don't you worry, I know, and I know their hashbrowns as well... Its 2 blocks from my apt and open 24/7!

And away we go!

Lets start with the eggs, this should be easy. I went over easy at both places. Did either egg taste any better, not at all. But as with any date, first appearances are important. The IHOP eggs came looking perfectly cooked with the yolks dead center and the whole thing a nice circle. Dennys, well... not so pretty. Score 1 for IHOP.

On to the meats! Bacon first. Now, bacon is great, no matter what. But not all bacon is created equal. Denny's bacon looked quite flacid and not hugely appetitzing. Taste was ok, texture was a bit to uncrispy. IHOP on the other hand looked beautiful, like Sports Illustrated Swim Suit issue hot! just the right amount of crispiness to go with great bacon flavor. YUM! Now, I wish I could say Dennys' sausages made up for it, but they didn't. Small, lacking that bite you get when you dig it, and kinda bland. IHOP, well, aside from being bigger(size matters, we all know it), it also was crispier on the outside and juicier and tastier on the inside. A clean sweep for the IHOP meat.

Moving on to spuds, the hashbrowns at both places are actually quite similar, though for once, I feel like they were crispier at Denny's, so by rule, I give them a victory here. Or I would, but I won't. Why? Because my hashbrown loyalties lie elsewhere. For those of us who have lived or visited the dirty south, you know, deep down in your soul, that the words Scattered, Smothered and Covered mean something, and it didn't come out of a snuff film. Yes, Waffle House is the standard bearer for hashbrowns, now and forever. 

So finally we come to pancakes. Both come with the requisite artery clogging ice cream scoop of butter, which is totally unnecessary but always used. And we wonder why this country is fat and has high cholesterol... Side by side, really, they aren't too far apart in goodness. But IHOP I felt was a bit lighter and fluffier, which means you can eat more of them(and IHOP has an unlimited pancake deal running, so that is key). But the real trump card that throws IHOP far past Dennys, is the syrup. Dennys gave me a little glass on syrup. IHOP gave me 4 BIG bottles of strawberry, blueberry, butter pecan and original syrup. Which means that each bite can be a totally different experience. And oh I loves me some butter pecan!

So yes, Its blatantly obvious that if you are a lumberjack in the wilderness of America and you are hungry, go to IHOP. And for the rest of you, go to IHOP as well, unless you crave hash browns, and then pray for Waffle House.

Turtleheads forever!